Firebreather

I went home to colorado over the holiday weekend to spend some precious time with my family and friends, from whom I've been removed far too long. I woke up Sunday morning and was delighted to find a thick blanket of snow spread over the ground like frosting. Two of my favorite things about colorado are the snow and the air. I love walking outside and "hearing" the sound of silence when it snows. The world is muffled by the falling snowflakes and its strangely comforting to see the world moving soundlessly in front of you. After living in california for so long, i had begun to forget what real silence feels like. What completes the whole experience, though, is the air. If you take in a big contented sigh, the purity of the cold air burns your lungs like fire. Even though it sounds a bit unpleasant, anyone who has breathed in that cold, dry air has felt a little rush of rejuvenation and alertness.



On a completely separate note, I sat down to write a little bit this evening and I felt really strongly that my words would be empty if I didn't sit down and read God's Word. I prayed for wisdom and discernment and it seemed good to me that I should start in on the book of James this evening. The first chapter couldn't be more perfect. It touches on temptation and how perseverance through testing leads to a complete, mature, finished person.

It makes so much sense. I'm at my best as a man when my heart isn't my own. When I devote my conversations, my private thoughts, my actions throughout the course of a day, my talents, my weaknesses, my insecurities, and my strengths to the Lord alone, I find myself infinitely more patient, more kind, more courageous, more just, more merciful, and more full of love than I could manage alone.

I'm at my best as a man when I love myself less. I've even noticed this with Mal...I love her so much that it takes my focus off myself and emboldens me to persevere through temptation. How much more so with God! Anyways, I know I've been rambling a bit, but I've been growing up a lot in character as I've learned that I'm not made up to be a selfish creature. I have so much more peace with others and myself when I love outwardly. Oppositely, it seems the more I dote upon myself, the more miserable I become and my best laid plans always get thwarted. I think I'm finally starting to grow up a little bit :)