Holy Father, i am weary and i am weak. there is a swelling in my throat and i'm having trouble differentiating between the pain from screaming rock band songs and the all too familiar feeling of helplessness when i realize i can't navigate this life without You.
to You be all the glory. please take my burden. You've promised that Yours is light in exchange. i long to follow You and know Your ways. i want to be close to Your heart. i want my life to reflect your Lordship and i am disappointed in my own attempts.
i'm beginning, what seems to me, one of the most important stages of my life to date. i want to follow You into the dark, into the unknown. like a small child, i want to stand behind You, hold Your mighty hand, and know that you are God, you are Father, and you are strong. thank You for Your many blessings. i love You with all my heart.
your son,
Jonathan
Holy Father, i am weary and i am weak. there is a swelling in my throat and i'm having trouble differentiating between the pain from screaming rock band songs and the all too familiar feeling of helplessness when i realize i can't navigate this life without You.
to You be all the glory. please take my burden. You've promised that Yours is light in exchange. i long to follow You and know Your ways. i want to be close to Your heart. i want my life to reflect your Lordship and i am disappointed in my own attempts.
i'm beginning, what seems to me, one of the most important stages of my life to date. i want to follow You into the dark, into the unknown. like a small child, i want to stand behind You, hold Your mighty hand, and know that you are God, you are Father, and you are strong. thank You for Your many blessings. i love You with all my heart.
your son,
Jonathan
Sunday, February 15, 2009
a new project!!!!
i've had a side project on the backburner of my mind for a number of months now, and i'm feeling so strongly compelled to take action that it just might happen.
it all started in a creative rut. my line of work doesn't necessarily lend to the highest degree of creative output (unless you're bernard madoff, in which case you got REALLY creative and lost your character in the process). i suppose there is some truth in saying that creativity is required in appropriately structuring a loan, as much of the syndicated corporate lending space does not resign itself to your plain vanilla structuring needs. that aside, i've had to pursue creative outlets outside of work.
for a while, i would fire up my beautiful 5150 every night and shred until i felt it was sufficiently late that my neighbors would pound on the wall at any moment. recently though, i've been so exhausted from work that i really have not felt very musical, and instead, have chosen to sit in mike's dilapidated lazy boy and watch 24/lost/the office/etc. until my early bed time rolls around.
i've been getting a bit restless with no outlet for my creativity, so i tried imitating mallory for a while and found that most arts and crafts really aren't a guy thing, and that it is pretty wrong of me to even attempt to steal her "thunder" in this area. crafts are something that she is really good at, and just because i'm starving to find a creative outlet doesn't mean that i should latch on to hers. i learned this lesson early (fortunately without a lecture from her!) and i hit the road again in search of my exit.
i noticed something a couple months ago that got me thinking about my current project: men in our generation have very few role models. aside from men in the Bible, and those of us who are lucky enough to have wonderful fathers or older influences, i really believe there is a drought when it comes to male role models of immovable character, outstanding courage, deep faith and love, lofty thought, romantic hearts, articulate speech, and effortless style. i could write volumes about the previous sentence and all the men i look up to in those respective areas, but what inspired me creatively is the most superficial of these traits...the men of seemingly effortless and eternal style.
where are the bogart's, sinatra's, martin's, davis jr's, twain's, warhol's, jagger's, clooney's, reagan's, and beatles', etc. of our generation? as i've grown up, i've bounced from one horrible style into another...yes, jinco's, bull cuts, flat tops, tommy bahama, and abercrombie cargo pants included...largely because i had no one to teach me how to present myself like a man/young man! today i find myself no closer than my middle school days as i walk into the office with oxford shirts that could fit men three times my size, skinny jeans that bunch up in all the wrong places, and deep v's that have enough extra material on the chest to fit boobs that i (thankfully) was not endowed with.
so what value could i possibly add to this area of life given that i have little to no style of my own?!? i've decided to approach this problem two ways. 1) i'm going on a journey. given that i have no substantive advice of my own to offer, i've started researching and learning. my goal is to write another blog that is an amalgamation of everything that i've learned about the essentials of men's style and grooming. this will not be the most fashion forward stuff. this will not be all that trash you see on the runways. i want to write a basic guide for men that just teaches us (emphasis on myself included) how we can dress ourselves and take care of ourselves hygenically in such a way that we don't look like we never progressed beyond the watchful, nitpicking eye of our mothers in elementary school.
my second approach to this problem is where i can actually add some value. i've always been really good at finding the same thing everyone else has for a lot less money. i'm not always the most innovative, i'm not always ahead of the curve, but i'm really good at finding stuff for cheap. example: capiz floor lamps.
mallory has a capiz table lamp that is pretty baller, albeit a bit fem. i was wandering around target the other day and found two capiz floor lamps at a deeeeep discount. this was more of a mistake than diligent research on my part, but having an eye for deals, i did a quick check with her and snatched these babies up for our future casa. to put this in perspective, these things usually go for ~$230 each at west elm. i picked up two of these, nearly identical to the one above for $35 each. this puts savings somewhere in the ballpark of $390.
i'm not necessarily a cheapskate...i'm just a businessman who understands how businesses work. whenever you go into a place to buy something, there is obviously a profit margin attached. some stores are volume stores and will sell on thin margins, just barely over cost, and they stay in business because of the volume of items that they sell. other businesses market to you as "premium" or "designer" vendors and add ridiculously thick margins that no self-respecting person should ever pay. somehow we trick ourselves into thinking that because something is new, or designer, that it's ok to pay 500% the actual cost of making the item. this is never the case and it's all marketing. sure, some well made things cost a lot more to make and you need to pay up for the quality. in most cases though, especially the junk that comes out of the large fashion houses, the crap you're buying isn't worth nearly the sticker price.
essentially, the second part of my blog will teach guys (including myself, again), how to find the essentials (grooming and dress) for a price that you won't regret. this is my value add and hopefully will help some other curious viewers as well.
anyways, this might be a horrible idea, but i think it will be edifying for me at least in that i get to learn a few things about taking care of myself and i'll get to express myself somewhat uniquely and creatively in the process. thanks for reading!!!! i've had a side project on the backburner of my mind for a number of months now, and i'm feeling so strongly compelled to take action that it just might happen.
it all started in a creative rut. my line of work doesn't necessarily lend to the highest degree of creative output (unless you're bernard madoff, in which case you got REALLY creative and lost your character in the process). i suppose there is some truth in saying that creativity is required in appropriately structuring a loan, as much of the syndicated corporate lending space does not resign itself to your plain vanilla structuring needs. that aside, i've had to pursue creative outlets outside of work.
for a while, i would fire up my beautiful 5150 every night and shred until i felt it was sufficiently late that my neighbors would pound on the wall at any moment. recently though, i've been so exhausted from work that i really have not felt very musical, and instead, have chosen to sit in mike's dilapidated lazy boy and watch 24/lost/the office/etc. until my early bed time rolls around.
i've been getting a bit restless with no outlet for my creativity, so i tried imitating mallory for a while and found that most arts and crafts really aren't a guy thing, and that it is pretty wrong of me to even attempt to steal her "thunder" in this area. crafts are something that she is really good at, and just because i'm starving to find a creative outlet doesn't mean that i should latch on to hers. i learned this lesson early (fortunately without a lecture from her!) and i hit the road again in search of my exit.
i noticed something a couple months ago that got me thinking about my current project: men in our generation have very few role models. aside from men in the Bible, and those of us who are lucky enough to have wonderful fathers or older influences, i really believe there is a drought when it comes to male role models of immovable character, outstanding courage, deep faith and love, lofty thought, romantic hearts, articulate speech, and effortless style. i could write volumes about the previous sentence and all the men i look up to in those respective areas, but what inspired me creatively is the most superficial of these traits...the men of seemingly effortless and eternal style.
where are the bogart's, sinatra's, martin's, davis jr's, twain's, warhol's, jagger's, clooney's, reagan's, and beatles', etc. of our generation? as i've grown up, i've bounced from one horrible style into another...yes, jinco's, bull cuts, flat tops, tommy bahama, and abercrombie cargo pants included...largely because i had no one to teach me how to present myself like a man/young man! today i find myself no closer than my middle school days as i walk into the office with oxford shirts that could fit men three times my size, skinny jeans that bunch up in all the wrong places, and deep v's that have enough extra material on the chest to fit boobs that i (thankfully) was not endowed with.
so what value could i possibly add to this area of life given that i have little to no style of my own?!? i've decided to approach this problem two ways. 1) i'm going on a journey. given that i have no substantive advice of my own to offer, i've started researching and learning. my goal is to write another blog that is an amalgamation of everything that i've learned about the essentials of men's style and grooming. this will not be the most fashion forward stuff. this will not be all that trash you see on the runways. i want to write a basic guide for men that just teaches us (emphasis on myself included) how we can dress ourselves and take care of ourselves hygenically in such a way that we don't look like we never progressed beyond the watchful, nitpicking eye of our mothers in elementary school.
my second approach to this problem is where i can actually add some value. i've always been really good at finding the same thing everyone else has for a lot less money. i'm not always the most innovative, i'm not always ahead of the curve, but i'm really good at finding stuff for cheap. example: capiz floor lamps.
mallory has a capiz table lamp that is pretty baller, albeit a bit fem. i was wandering around target the other day and found two capiz floor lamps at a deeeeep discount. this was more of a mistake than diligent research on my part, but having an eye for deals, i did a quick check with her and snatched these babies up for our future casa. to put this in perspective, these things usually go for ~$230 each at west elm. i picked up two of these, nearly identical to the one above for $35 each. this puts savings somewhere in the ballpark of $390.
i'm not necessarily a cheapskate...i'm just a businessman who understands how businesses work. whenever you go into a place to buy something, there is obviously a profit margin attached. some stores are volume stores and will sell on thin margins, just barely over cost, and they stay in business because of the volume of items that they sell. other businesses market to you as "premium" or "designer" vendors and add ridiculously thick margins that no self-respecting person should ever pay. somehow we trick ourselves into thinking that because something is new, or designer, that it's ok to pay 500% the actual cost of making the item. this is never the case and it's all marketing. sure, some well made things cost a lot more to make and you need to pay up for the quality. in most cases though, especially the junk that comes out of the large fashion houses, the crap you're buying isn't worth nearly the sticker price.
essentially, the second part of my blog will teach guys (including myself, again), how to find the essentials (grooming and dress) for a price that you won't regret. this is my value add and hopefully will help some other curious viewers as well.
anyways, this might be a horrible idea, but i think it will be edifying for me at least in that i get to learn a few things about taking care of myself and i'll get to express myself somewhat uniquely and creatively in the process. thanks for reading!!!!
it all started in a creative rut. my line of work doesn't necessarily lend to the highest degree of creative output (unless you're bernard madoff, in which case you got REALLY creative and lost your character in the process). i suppose there is some truth in saying that creativity is required in appropriately structuring a loan, as much of the syndicated corporate lending space does not resign itself to your plain vanilla structuring needs. that aside, i've had to pursue creative outlets outside of work.
for a while, i would fire up my beautiful 5150 every night and shred until i felt it was sufficiently late that my neighbors would pound on the wall at any moment. recently though, i've been so exhausted from work that i really have not felt very musical, and instead, have chosen to sit in mike's dilapidated lazy boy and watch 24/lost/the office/etc. until my early bed time rolls around.
i've been getting a bit restless with no outlet for my creativity, so i tried imitating mallory for a while and found that most arts and crafts really aren't a guy thing, and that it is pretty wrong of me to even attempt to steal her "thunder" in this area. crafts are something that she is really good at, and just because i'm starving to find a creative outlet doesn't mean that i should latch on to hers. i learned this lesson early (fortunately without a lecture from her!) and i hit the road again in search of my exit.
i noticed something a couple months ago that got me thinking about my current project: men in our generation have very few role models. aside from men in the Bible, and those of us who are lucky enough to have wonderful fathers or older influences, i really believe there is a drought when it comes to male role models of immovable character, outstanding courage, deep faith and love, lofty thought, romantic hearts, articulate speech, and effortless style. i could write volumes about the previous sentence and all the men i look up to in those respective areas, but what inspired me creatively is the most superficial of these traits...the men of seemingly effortless and eternal style.
where are the bogart's, sinatra's, martin's, davis jr's, twain's, warhol's, jagger's, clooney's, reagan's, and beatles', etc. of our generation? as i've grown up, i've bounced from one horrible style into another...yes, jinco's, bull cuts, flat tops, tommy bahama, and abercrombie cargo pants included...largely because i had no one to teach me how to present myself like a man/young man! today i find myself no closer than my middle school days as i walk into the office with oxford shirts that could fit men three times my size, skinny jeans that bunch up in all the wrong places, and deep v's that have enough extra material on the chest to fit boobs that i (thankfully) was not endowed with.
so what value could i possibly add to this area of life given that i have little to no style of my own?!? i've decided to approach this problem two ways. 1) i'm going on a journey. given that i have no substantive advice of my own to offer, i've started researching and learning. my goal is to write another blog that is an amalgamation of everything that i've learned about the essentials of men's style and grooming. this will not be the most fashion forward stuff. this will not be all that trash you see on the runways. i want to write a basic guide for men that just teaches us (emphasis on myself included) how we can dress ourselves and take care of ourselves hygenically in such a way that we don't look like we never progressed beyond the watchful, nitpicking eye of our mothers in elementary school.
my second approach to this problem is where i can actually add some value. i've always been really good at finding the same thing everyone else has for a lot less money. i'm not always the most innovative, i'm not always ahead of the curve, but i'm really good at finding stuff for cheap. example: capiz floor lamps.
mallory has a capiz table lamp that is pretty baller, albeit a bit fem. i was wandering around target the other day and found two capiz floor lamps at a deeeeep discount. this was more of a mistake than diligent research on my part, but having an eye for deals, i did a quick check with her and snatched these babies up for our future casa. to put this in perspective, these things usually go for ~$230 each at west elm. i picked up two of these, nearly identical to the one above for $35 each. this puts savings somewhere in the ballpark of $390.
i'm not necessarily a cheapskate...i'm just a businessman who understands how businesses work. whenever you go into a place to buy something, there is obviously a profit margin attached. some stores are volume stores and will sell on thin margins, just barely over cost, and they stay in business because of the volume of items that they sell. other businesses market to you as "premium" or "designer" vendors and add ridiculously thick margins that no self-respecting person should ever pay. somehow we trick ourselves into thinking that because something is new, or designer, that it's ok to pay 500% the actual cost of making the item. this is never the case and it's all marketing. sure, some well made things cost a lot more to make and you need to pay up for the quality. in most cases though, especially the junk that comes out of the large fashion houses, the crap you're buying isn't worth nearly the sticker price.
essentially, the second part of my blog will teach guys (including myself, again), how to find the essentials (grooming and dress) for a price that you won't regret. this is my value add and hopefully will help some other curious viewers as well.
anyways, this might be a horrible idea, but i think it will be edifying for me at least in that i get to learn a few things about taking care of myself and i'll get to express myself somewhat uniquely and creatively in the process. thanks for reading!!!! i've had a side project on the backburner of my mind for a number of months now, and i'm feeling so strongly compelled to take action that it just might happen.
it all started in a creative rut. my line of work doesn't necessarily lend to the highest degree of creative output (unless you're bernard madoff, in which case you got REALLY creative and lost your character in the process). i suppose there is some truth in saying that creativity is required in appropriately structuring a loan, as much of the syndicated corporate lending space does not resign itself to your plain vanilla structuring needs. that aside, i've had to pursue creative outlets outside of work.
for a while, i would fire up my beautiful 5150 every night and shred until i felt it was sufficiently late that my neighbors would pound on the wall at any moment. recently though, i've been so exhausted from work that i really have not felt very musical, and instead, have chosen to sit in mike's dilapidated lazy boy and watch 24/lost/the office/etc. until my early bed time rolls around.
i've been getting a bit restless with no outlet for my creativity, so i tried imitating mallory for a while and found that most arts and crafts really aren't a guy thing, and that it is pretty wrong of me to even attempt to steal her "thunder" in this area. crafts are something that she is really good at, and just because i'm starving to find a creative outlet doesn't mean that i should latch on to hers. i learned this lesson early (fortunately without a lecture from her!) and i hit the road again in search of my exit.
i noticed something a couple months ago that got me thinking about my current project: men in our generation have very few role models. aside from men in the Bible, and those of us who are lucky enough to have wonderful fathers or older influences, i really believe there is a drought when it comes to male role models of immovable character, outstanding courage, deep faith and love, lofty thought, romantic hearts, articulate speech, and effortless style. i could write volumes about the previous sentence and all the men i look up to in those respective areas, but what inspired me creatively is the most superficial of these traits...the men of seemingly effortless and eternal style.
where are the bogart's, sinatra's, martin's, davis jr's, twain's, warhol's, jagger's, clooney's, reagan's, and beatles', etc. of our generation? as i've grown up, i've bounced from one horrible style into another...yes, jinco's, bull cuts, flat tops, tommy bahama, and abercrombie cargo pants included...largely because i had no one to teach me how to present myself like a man/young man! today i find myself no closer than my middle school days as i walk into the office with oxford shirts that could fit men three times my size, skinny jeans that bunch up in all the wrong places, and deep v's that have enough extra material on the chest to fit boobs that i (thankfully) was not endowed with.
so what value could i possibly add to this area of life given that i have little to no style of my own?!? i've decided to approach this problem two ways. 1) i'm going on a journey. given that i have no substantive advice of my own to offer, i've started researching and learning. my goal is to write another blog that is an amalgamation of everything that i've learned about the essentials of men's style and grooming. this will not be the most fashion forward stuff. this will not be all that trash you see on the runways. i want to write a basic guide for men that just teaches us (emphasis on myself included) how we can dress ourselves and take care of ourselves hygenically in such a way that we don't look like we never progressed beyond the watchful, nitpicking eye of our mothers in elementary school.
my second approach to this problem is where i can actually add some value. i've always been really good at finding the same thing everyone else has for a lot less money. i'm not always the most innovative, i'm not always ahead of the curve, but i'm really good at finding stuff for cheap. example: capiz floor lamps.
mallory has a capiz table lamp that is pretty baller, albeit a bit fem. i was wandering around target the other day and found two capiz floor lamps at a deeeeep discount. this was more of a mistake than diligent research on my part, but having an eye for deals, i did a quick check with her and snatched these babies up for our future casa. to put this in perspective, these things usually go for ~$230 each at west elm. i picked up two of these, nearly identical to the one above for $35 each. this puts savings somewhere in the ballpark of $390.
i'm not necessarily a cheapskate...i'm just a businessman who understands how businesses work. whenever you go into a place to buy something, there is obviously a profit margin attached. some stores are volume stores and will sell on thin margins, just barely over cost, and they stay in business because of the volume of items that they sell. other businesses market to you as "premium" or "designer" vendors and add ridiculously thick margins that no self-respecting person should ever pay. somehow we trick ourselves into thinking that because something is new, or designer, that it's ok to pay 500% the actual cost of making the item. this is never the case and it's all marketing. sure, some well made things cost a lot more to make and you need to pay up for the quality. in most cases though, especially the junk that comes out of the large fashion houses, the crap you're buying isn't worth nearly the sticker price.
essentially, the second part of my blog will teach guys (including myself, again), how to find the essentials (grooming and dress) for a price that you won't regret. this is my value add and hopefully will help some other curious viewers as well.
anyways, this might be a horrible idea, but i think it will be edifying for me at least in that i get to learn a few things about taking care of myself and i'll get to express myself somewhat uniquely and creatively in the process. thanks for reading!!!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
a social experiment of sorts
rather than being in my own self-absorbed world when i walk down the street, i've starting lifting up my eyes and looking around the city, looking into the eyes of others, and taking joy in my surroundings. it freaks people out if they are used to being in a zombie-esque state where everyone just walks from one task to another. i love it.
rather than being in my own self-absorbed world when i walk down the street, i've starting lifting up my eyes and looking around the city, looking into the eyes of others, and taking joy in my surroundings. it freaks people out if they are used to being in a zombie-esque state where everyone just walks from one task to another. i love it.
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