a busy little bee

there's something magical about the sea. maybe its the great oceans' vast unknownability, its unsearchable depths, or its unabated power and fury? maybe its the romantic notions that have been attached to it since its inception: distance, homecoming, horizons, and loss. its waters sustain life and take it away. at the end of the day though, i'm humbled by its majesty and i'm reminded of the hand that made it.

it's too easy to keep your head down with your nose to the grindstone that God's glory goes unnoticed. i've been incredibly busy these past few days and i've joked that my BRBC (blood red bull content) levels are stratospheric. the past few work days have fallen in the 13-15 hour range and more than a couple meals have been forgotten and more than 40 winks have been lost. however, i've found incredible peace in a time when i've historically been at my wit's end. although buried under mountains of paper, there has been a steady hand under my chin and i have not been able to shake the unmistakable voice of the Lord that there is something more to these long hours than a two day turnaround to underwrite a $200MM senior unsecured credit facility. what is each day if not an opportunity to glorify the Lord?

my work is not for myself, but for the glory of the Lord. i am so thankful (and blessed) to have a job that fosters my learning and success when wall street has become abysmal and many more "qualified" persons than myself are living on their savings. i am thankful for my health. i am thankful for a bright mind and an able body so that i can work to the best of my ability. i am thankful that i can support myself and still have money to save for my future. and most of all, i am thankful for all the blood, sweat, and tears that the Lord has put into saving me so that i can meet with Him everyday and glorify Him with my work.

i pray that i never lose sight of the blessings that You've given me. may my life's work always be devoted to Your ends and to further Your glory. i love you forever. there's something magical about the sea. maybe its the great oceans' vast unknownability, its unsearchable depths, or its unabated power and fury? maybe its the romantic notions that have been attached to it since its inception: distance, homecoming, horizons, and loss. its waters sustain life and take it away. at the end of the day though, i'm humbled by its majesty and i'm reminded of the hand that made it.

it's too easy to keep your head down with your nose to the grindstone that God's glory goes unnoticed. i've been incredibly busy these past few days and i've joked that my BRBC (blood red bull content) levels are stratospheric. the past few work days have fallen in the 13-15 hour range and more than a couple meals have been forgotten and more than 40 winks have been lost. however, i've found incredible peace in a time when i've historically been at my wit's end. although buried under mountains of paper, there has been a steady hand under my chin and i have not been able to shake the unmistakable voice of the Lord that there is something more to these long hours than a two day turnaround to underwrite a $200MM senior unsecured credit facility. what is each day if not an opportunity to glorify the Lord?

my work is not for myself, but for the glory of the Lord. i am so thankful (and blessed) to have a job that fosters my learning and success when wall street has become abysmal and many more "qualified" persons than myself are living on their savings. i am thankful for my health. i am thankful for a bright mind and an able body so that i can work to the best of my ability. i am thankful that i can support myself and still have money to save for my future. and most of all, i am thankful for all the blood, sweat, and tears that the Lord has put into saving me so that i can meet with Him everyday and glorify Him with my work.

i pray that i never lose sight of the blessings that You've given me. may my life's work always be devoted to Your ends and to further Your glory. i love you forever.

my heart fails within me

i feel incredibly weak. it's that sinking feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that keeps falling and falling to the point of nausea and exhaustion. this past week i've really taken on more than i can handle in nearly every aspect of my life and this feeling is somewhat of an eye-opener for me. i am weak. i am too weak and too insufficient to control all the aspects of my life that i am constantly juggling to feel "balanced". rather than balancing myself out and feeling well managed, i am burdened and exhausted. i've gotten myself in so deep that for every step i've tried to take this week, i've found myself two steps back from where i started. all of this stems from failing to give the One who really matters the time of day...the One who can actually provide balance and perspective...the One who has strength, wisdom, and love enough to cover any amount of my weakness, foolishness, and pettiness such that I can be whole and healthy. the One who i forgot was God.

God, please forgive me...i've busied myself, kept my head down, and run so far that i no longer have my bearings. i'm hopelessly lost and i need Your guidance. i want to honor You with my actions and my words, and i know i haven't. please take me and make me whole. please continue to mold me into a man after Your heart. my life is yours. i love you. amen. i feel incredibly weak. it's that sinking feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that keeps falling and falling to the point of nausea and exhaustion. this past week i've really taken on more than i can handle in nearly every aspect of my life and this feeling is somewhat of an eye-opener for me. i am weak. i am too weak and too insufficient to control all the aspects of my life that i am constantly juggling to feel "balanced". rather than balancing myself out and feeling well managed, i am burdened and exhausted. i've gotten myself in so deep that for every step i've tried to take this week, i've found myself two steps back from where i started. all of this stems from failing to give the One who really matters the time of day...the One who can actually provide balance and perspective...the One who has strength, wisdom, and love enough to cover any amount of my weakness, foolishness, and pettiness such that I can be whole and healthy. the One who i forgot was God.

God, please forgive me...i've busied myself, kept my head down, and run so far that i no longer have my bearings. i'm hopelessly lost and i need Your guidance. i want to honor You with my actions and my words, and i know i haven't. please take me and make me whole. please continue to mold me into a man after Your heart. my life is yours. i love you. amen.